Here’s an overview of resolving conflict in various relationships.
When we over-address, it can seem everything's wrong and push the spouse toward losing hope, but when we pretend nothing's wrong, we neglect cleaning out the relationship and allow walls to build.
When we over-address, it can seem everything's wrong and push the spouse toward losing hope, but when we pretend nothing's wrong, we neglect cleaning out the relationship and allow walls to build.
If we address issues too frequently, we create the feeling we are unhappy and dissatisfied, but if we address them infrequently, we come across as not caring. How can you land on somewhere in the middle?
When we talk more easily, we can come across as aggressive, and when we don't talk as much, we can come across as withdrawing. This can send a message we didn't intend.
Tone of voice can twist a well-intentioned message. Anytime we express negative feelings via tone of voice, it's likely to return a negative response.
Is your wife withdrawing from you or becoming increasingly intense toward you? Let's talk about how you can help.
Our relationships are living and functioning. As such, they produce waste. In marriage, resolving conflict removes waste and prevents its buildup between husband and wife.
What's a man to do with a crying, wounded woman? (Yes, the idea for the title came from the movie, "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.")
His and her brains respond differently to anger. Let's talk about info on this topic we found in Dr. Carolyn Leaf's book, Who Switched Off My Brain?
Male and female are different in the way our brains are wired. Let's look at what's different in the way we perceive, with info discussed from Dr. Carolyn Leaf's book, Who Switched Off My Brain.
Have you ever apologized, but it wasn't well-received? Here are some tips to help you say your apology well.
If we're not careful, we can get in our own way when it comes to catching our spouse's heart message.
To be influenced by our spouse, we need to be able to hear what he/she contributes to decision making.To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/qqjb...
How do we make decisions together when we have such different perspectives? We're supposed to have different perspectives! Let's look at how to blend.
If you're clashing instead of blending, you may want to back off and check out your foundation. For two to become one, we first must accept and appreciate t...
Maintaining connectivity while your spouse is sharing is doing your part as listener.
Keeping our cool while sharing a challenging thought can be difficult, but it's the only way to talk things through.
Did you know the way you start communication can determine how it goes?
We both have something to say, but we can only work through one topic at a time and must wait until it's our turn to share.
Before we can address issues well, we should create an environment of unconditional love and acceptance of our spouse as-is without trying to change him/her.
Are you feeding a negative cycle in your marriage? You bring up a topic that automatically escalates, and you don't know what happened? Couples contribute to the negative spiral, and it can worsen over time. What sets it up?
How did we get here? Understanding the set up for negativity can help us understand how to reverse it.
As a couple, we've developed a history together. Now, our spouse expects conversation to go a certain way based on our responses. We need to create new expectations.
We expect so much in marriage! Regardless of what we think our spouse SHOULD do, we need to be Ok with what our spouse CHOOSES to do. (We're not talking about destructive choices here)
If you’re the listener, you’d want to be listening…. If you’re the speaker, you’d want to share your message in a way the listener can hear.
If you're struggling with getting your spouse to hear you when you present a problem to resolve, maybe you could improve your set up.
What can you do to improve the chance your spouse may really listen when you share?
How might you help your spouse become aware of your challenging preferences or triggers?
Repairing and soothing can help us stay calm during conflict and keep it healthy.
What should you beware of when you're escalating or closing toward your spouse? Avoiding these helps keep marriage healthy. _______ Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net _______ Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shawnrhondabardon/?ref=pages_you_manage Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blessed_marriage_/ #blessedmarriage #marriage #marriageadvice advice #marriagegoals #godlymarriage #biblestudy
How can conflict help you? When we understand we're closer on the other side - when we do it right! - we have something to work toward. _______ Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net _______ Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shawnrhondabardon/?ref=pages_you_manage Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blessed_marriage_/ #blessedmarriage #marriage #marriageadvice advice #marriagegoals #godlymarriage #biblestudy
We understand empathy is important, but what does that look like when we're clashing? Let's talk about what to look for. _______ Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net _______ Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shawnrhondabardon/?ref=pages_you_manage Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blessed_marriage_/ #blessedmarriage #marriage #marriageadvice advice #marriagegoals #godlymarriage #biblestudy
When we're empathetic with our spouse - connecting on a head-plus-heart level, we begin creating a safe environment - a place where our spouse feels heard where we've positioned ourselves as approachable.
When we're listening empathetically when our spouse is sharing, we can connect with not only the words, but also with the feelings behind the words to help our spouse feel heard and understood.
Let's talk about how to improve communication by watching our attitudes have a lot to do with how we share and how we hear.
What do you do when things have escalated in your marriage to the point your husband will hardly speak to you? Here are some ideas... _______ Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net _______ Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shawnrhondabardon/?ref=pages_you_manage Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blessed_marriage_/ #blessedmarriage #marriage #marriageadvice advice #marriagegoals #godlymarriage #biblestudy
Just like there are rules for games, there are rules for sharing hearts. When we play by the rules, we're more likely to get a "win" for both spouses.
Just because you feel upset doesn't mean you should speak disrespectfully to your spouse, and it isn't helpful - Speaking disrespectully typically results in defensiveness and decreased ability to hear the message in the spouse. Do the right thing by continuing to be polite and respectful, regardless of your spouses choices.
If it's important to you, it should be important to me. Validate what your spouse is seeing in the relationship - It takes two.
Empathy goes beyond catching the meaning of the words to include understanding the feeling behind them. To watch this video in it's entirety - https://youtu.be/FHRX_wv1sbg _______ Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net _______ Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shawnrhondabardon/?ref=pages_you_manage Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blessed_marriage_/ #blessedmarriage #marriage #marriageadvice advice #marriagegoals #godlymarriage #biblestudy
Before we'd address something we'd like to see changed in our spouse, we should first work on the things that need worked on about ourselves. When we're tak...
To find "we" in marriage, we need to be willing to adjust.To watch this entire video, go to Ready to Share at https://youtu.be/RdDLSLl3b14_______Check our ou...
When we see communication failed, we can evaluate where we could improve for next time, so we respond in a way to keep communication open instead of reacting...
You might be challenged with your spouse's responses to you because you aren't sharing enough information to really be known.To watch this entire video, go t...
Do you tend to hint at what you wish your spouse would know about you? Being indirect can block your spouse from getting the right message.To watch this ent...
Is it easy for you to become argumentative when trying to get your spouse to consider your perspective? This can actually block him/her from hearing you.To ...
Do you withdraw from addressing problems in your marriage? To watch this entire video, go to Vulnerabilities That Block Sharing at https://youtu.be/40Q2elvpy...
When communication doesn't go well, the first thing to do is check our own heart to be sure our motives and intentions are pure.To watch this entire video, g...
Are we passing judgment on our spouse, deciding what he/she intends without really hearing him/her?To watch this entire video, go to Ready to Share at https:...
Are you self-aware? Have you made your spouse aware of the things that derail communication for you? Does he/she really know how it impacts you?To watch th...
Are we coming across as aggressive or accusing without realizing it? This can shut down communication and result in our not being heard.To watch this entire...
Sometimes our own vulnerabilities hinder us from sharing with our spouse challenging insights about us._______Check our our website at https://blessedmarriag...
If it hasn't been working well the way you've been sharing your heart with your spouse, consider evaluating the way you've been doing to prepare to do it bet...
While research shows husbands in successful marriages receive influence from their wives, wives can make it a little easier.To watch this entire discussions:...
Research shows there's a positive impact on the longevity of the marriage when the husband accepts his wife's influence.To watch this entire discussions: htt...
Husbands and wives should be able to receive influence from each other to become one._______Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net_______Find u...
The little things can become the big things when they go unnoticed._______Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net_______Find us on Facebook:...
Do you tend to think your responses are the result of what your spouse did?To watch this entire discussion: https://youtu.be/_QuC12nw0Gc_______Check our our ...
When addressing marital problems, how are you interpreting your spouse?To watch this entire discussion: https://youtu.be/_QuC12nw0Gc_______Check our our webs...
Do you maximize your problems and minimize your spouse's?To watch this entire discussion: https://youtu.be/_QuC12nw0Gc_______Check our our website at https:/...
Do you have a tendency to blame your spouse for the problems in your marriage?To watch this entire discussion: https://youtu.be/_QuC12nw0Gc_______Check our o...
When your spouse share with you something important to him/her, how important do you make it to yourself?To watch this entire discussion: https://youtu.be/_Q...
Couples in healthy marriages accept each other as is and celebrate their differences. To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/3eGqwYnyf1Y_______C...
Couples in healthy marriages share by beginning with a gentle start up and receive by accepting influence.To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/...
Couples in healthy marriages honor each other's dreams and share the same purposes/goals.To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/3eGqwYnyf1Y______...
Couples in healthy marriages actively pay attention to each other.To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/3eGqwYnyf1Y_______Check our our website ...
Couples in healthy marriages believe their spouse has good intentions.To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/3eGqwYnyf1Y_______Check our our webs...
Couples in healthy marriages respond to each other with interest.To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/3eGqwYnyf1Y_______Check our our website a...
Couples in healthy marriages spontaneously express admiration and affection.To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/3eGqwYnyf1Y_______Check our ou...
Let's do some self-evaluation to understand our behind-the-scenes thoughts that influence how we respond._______Check our our website at https://blessedmarr...
There are some important ways of looking at ourselves, our spouse, and our attitude to what each presents as we work toward "we" in marriage._______Check our...
Happily married couples have a lot in common._______Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net_______Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook....
While it's important in marriage to be able to talk openly, we've got to remember the place for overlooking faults, too._______Check our our website at https...
How do you soften and open the heart of your spouse when so many misunderstandings have pushed him/her away?_______Check our our website at https://blessedma...
Our spouse has a different perspective, and it's supposed to be that way. How can we work with someone not like me?_______Check our our website at https://b...
How are you looking at and interpreting your spouse? Do I take whatever presents itself? Or am I intentional in how I view my spouse?_______Check our our we...
Sometimes we argue over unmet expectations. What do we expect?_______Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net_______Find us on Facebook: htt...
Until we can talk through our differences, we can choose to believe the best and that our spouse is well-intentioned._______Check our our website at https://...
Our spouse doesn't always choose to please us as we'd like. What do we do then? Our attitude can either support or damage the relationship._______Check our...
We can't force our spouse to please us, and respecting their right to choose is healthier for the relationship._______Check our our website at https://blesse...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
While many marital issues are resolvable, some aren't, and it's important to know the difference and how to navigate either way.
Jesus set an excellent example for us to follow when it comes to how we respond when we don't like the way we're being treated.
When you clash on a decision, do you go with the way you want to do it without really hearing out your spouse's idea? What if there's another option that cou...
The husband tends to set the tone of the marriage relationship to be either predominantly positive or predominantly negative.
In marriage, the wife has a tendency to come across as verbally and emotionally aggressive as she tries to get her husband to work through issues. As a resp...
There are some mindsets spouses have when they don't work through issues. Here are a few. Do you lean toward one of these?
Do you or your spouse easily play the victim anytime you're asked to make a change? Let 's look at the victim mentality.
Submission poses lots of problems because of misunderstandings about it. Let's talk about it....
It's easy for a husband to get frustrated with his wife, but did you know God addressed this in His word? Let's look at Colossians 3:19 and talk about that.
Do you immediately get on the warpath when your spouse presents and issue? What's going on, and how could you change that?
Husbands and wives are supposed to be influenced by each other - and this tends to be present in healthy marriages and absent from failing marriages. Since ...
The way we begin sharing an issue can determine the way it'll end. Why not start off in a way that's less likely to slam the door to the discussion you want?
You get to choose your perspective, and we usually pick the one that makes sense to us - but what if there's a better way to look at it?
Do you hold off on addressing issues until you can't take it anymore? Did you know it's healthy for the relationship to go ahead and address them before the...
So how do couples get off the right track and end up at a place where they don't even know each other anymore?
To make friends we need to be friendly. (Proverbs 18:24). Are you friendly in your marriage? If you wouldn't speak to anybody else that way, why with your s...
When marriages struggle, both parties play a role to create a cycle. What's your part?
Study the Scriptures with us to better understand God's design for marriage.
Our perspectives about ourselves, our spouse, and our marriage affects our responses. We can change our thinking as we understand how we were created to uni...
Resolving marital issues gets blockades out of the pathway of yielding to unity in the marriage. If an issues is important to our spouse, it's important to ...
Sharing needs is so important in a marriage. While resolving issues removes hindrances, sharing needs pulls into the marital picture what's missing or insuf...
If you've gotten to a stable place in your marriage, consider using this video to develop a plan to periodically evaluate your relationship to maintain growth.
It's good to have a check up for the marriage, and in this video, we cover some information to help with that.
Have you ever attempted to share a heart message only to be pushed aside as the speaker while your spouse shares something "more important"? Have you done t...
When we clash, we miss heart-messages. To really hear, set aside yourself and realize your spouse is revealing self - not you. When we only see ourselves a...
In a marriage, God didn't mean for only one spouse to be expressed in the union. Instead, He means for two to become one. For this to happen, the contribut...
When there's a lot of conflict in the relationship, it can be overwhelming. This can happen to the spouse who is less verbal because the more verbal spouse ...
What's your tendency when resolving marital issues? Are you more aggressive or avoiding when you interact with your spouse?
Do you withdraw from conflict? Are you married to someone who does? Let's talk about what's happening when someone withdraws and some ways to work on it.
If you are more verbal to pursue addressing issues, check out this video where we discuss the problems you might encounter. If you are the spouse of someone...
If you're struggling to work through issues, check out your underlying perspectives. These can sit unrecognized in the background and affect how we interpre...
Do you cringe when you think of resolving an issue with your spouse? What's behind the cringing? Let's look at concerns some spouses have to hurdle to go t...
Is it a priority to you to do what pleases your spouse? To what extent do you go to find out what is pleasing? What is the amount of effort expended to ble...
Are you trying to become on in marriage while thinking and acting like a single person? To the extent we hold onto our "singleness," we hinder our "oneness....
There is power in marital intimacy missed when we choose to push away our spouse. When our spouse presents yet another area for blending, how do we respond?...
When we present our issue well, we increase the likelihood of being heard. Our spouse isn't perfect, but when we reduce his hurdles, he doesn't have to weed...
Is your biggest problem that you aren't recognizing and embracing that which is male and that which is female in your relationship? What if you're pushing a...
If it's not working, why keep doing it? Did you know your negativity is tearing apart your marriage? Learn some tools used in successful marriages, and cha...
To look at things the way God looks at things requires changing our perspectives. Could it be there are ways we think that are causing trouble in the marria...
How can we get the attention of our spouse? Let's look at what God's word shows are "winning" ways to engage.
Lies in the heart about ourselves and lies in the heart about our spouse hinder marital communication. When we interact with others, we develop beliefs abou...
Have you ever been talking to your spouse when things started escalating? Then exploded? We all have emotional triggers that explode like emotional landmin...
How will you respond when in conflict with your spouse? God's Word addresses how we should live - and yes! how we should treat our spouse when working to re...
Do God and your spouse get the best of your time, focus, attention, enthusiasm? Or do you give that to someone or something else - or use it on yourself? W...
Has your heart become hard toward your spouse? Or has your spouse's heart become hardened toward you? What will you do now?
If we're really listening, our spouse has something important to say, and we could really benefit from it. Next time, instead of discounting it because it d...
Did you ever think conflict could create closeness? Well, it depends on what you do with it. The things we say are loaded with information, and many times,...
Are you both pushing and pulling in opposite directions? Does it feel like a wild ride, and you don't know how you got here or how to get off? Let's look a...
Have you ever attempted to share a heart message only to be pushed aside as the speaker while your spouse shares something "more important"? Have you done t...
When we clash, we miss heart-messages. To really hear, set aside yourself and realize your spouse is revealing self - not you. When we only see ourselves a...
Most people long to be known for who they are deep inside their hearts, but who will go that far to know us or care so much to tread delicately there? Hopef...
Do you have ears to hear beyond the presentation to really hear the meaning of your spouse's message?
To hear our spouse's heart, we mustn't be so self-focused we can only hear ourselves. Is your own perspective so loud in your mind you can't hear anything e...
Know your role. Are you the speaker or the listener? It isn't nice to push aside the speaker to switch roles.
How can we hear the heart message of our spouse if we're focused on explaining self or dismissive of thought, feelings, and ideas outside self? Let's talk a...
Many couples do not know how to talk about the deeper issues of the heart to take their marriages to a deeper level. In this video, we discuss how to work through those things that are hindering growth and damaging trust in relationships.
The next time you want to share something from your heart with your spouse, try sticking to the rules to see if you're more likely to help your spouse receiv...
