During all the different seasons of marriage, it can be a challenge to keep romance alive. Here are some ideas!
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Is your marriage struggling around trauma, grief, PTSD, depression, betrayal, or other serious challenge? For those of you staying together through it, here are some tips for working on marriage with difficulties such as these in the picture.
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What did you think the empty nest or retirement would be like? Was it what you expected? For many of us, it wasn't! What about navigating marriage during these seasons?
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Sharing beliefs is communication at its deepest. To get here, we're likely already doing well talking about almost everything else and feeling a good bit of trust to share.
Can you unite on needs and goals? These are deeper topics of communication. Sharing on this level deepens intimacy.
As a couple, can we come up with joint vision and goals for the upcoming year together? When we make the time to dream and seek God's direction, we can unite our efforts toward shared goals.
Can you share your feelings without a verbal and emotional explosion? This is a deeper level of communication. To get here, we first want to get better at more surface levels of small talk, facts, and opinions.
Sharing opinions goes deeper than our usual surface level of communication. Here, we can learn to respect each other's differences, which sets us up to go deeper.
A lot of us easily communicate on the surface. It's in this zone we can work through going deeper.
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Do you long to talk on a deeper level? Here's a good starting point. _______
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While some of us excitedly plan for the holidays, others are dreading it. As a couple, what can we do to improve the holiday scene and make precious memories for our family?
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Communication happens on different levels. In marriage, the hope is that we will learn to share our deepest self to each other, and that we would receive such communication with gentle interest and curiosity with a goal to know and be known.
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We're always investing via our time, energy, and focus. We receive a harvest from the direction of our investment. The question is, what are we investing in? If it isn't our marriage, we shouldn't be surprised if it is no longer fulfilling. To enjoy what God intended, we should invest as God intended.
Have you felt disillusioned in your marriage as you notice his and her imperfections? So, what do we do with that?
How do you maintain a healthy marriage while parenting? Here are some ideas.
Parenting together well requires husband and wife coming together, blending very different ideas about parenting. Here are some thoughts to get you started.
Here’s an overview of resolving conflict in various relationships.
Have you been married long enough to realize your spouse isn't perfect? Once the honeymoon is over, reality of day-to-day life sets in when everything isn't as perfect as we'd imagined. So how do we adjust?
Returning to our first love and doing the first works (Revelation 2) maintains our walk with the Lord and also applies to our marriage.
What do we do with negative thoughts about our family? We can control our thoughts and avoid assuming.
Here's a brief overview of some male-female differences. How might these affect the way we find "we" in marriage?
When we over-address, it can seem everything's wrong and push the spouse toward losing hope, but when we pretend nothing's wrong, we neglect cleaning out the relationship and allow walls to build.
When we over-address, it can seem everything's wrong and push the spouse toward losing hope, but when we pretend nothing's wrong, we neglect cleaning out the relationship and allow walls to build.
If we address issues too frequently, we create the feeling we are unhappy and dissatisfied, but if we address them infrequently, we come across as not caring. How can you land on somewhere in the middle?
Temper your sharing frequency toward your spouse's to avoid overwhelming an under-sharer and to meet the conversational needs of the over-sharer.
When we talk more easily, we can come across as aggressive, and when we don't talk as much, we can come across as withdrawing. This can send a message we didn't intend.
Tone of voice can twist a well-intentioned message. Anytime we express negative feelings via tone of voice, it's likely to return a negative response.
Is your wife withdrawing from you or becoming increasingly intense toward you? Let's talk about how you can help.
We are shaped and prepared for ministry via our relationships at home.
Our marriages speak to others and are a testimony of what we believe - especially about how we see God. How might we pattern our marriages after God's heart to share a better message?
To make a marriage plan to walk out of distress, you first need to see where you are and decide where you want to grow. Too many times we're living as if the marriage were where we wish, rather than in the reality of where we actually are.
We can learn how to grow deeper in our marriage relationship by understanding how we grow deeper in our relationship with the Lord.
When married, do we serve individually, together, a mix of both? How might this look and how do we serve together?
Our relationships are living and functioning. As such, they produce waste. In marriage, resolving conflict removes waste and prevents its buildup between husband and wife.
Can we go into each other's holy place? What does it look like there, and what are the rules of your holy place?
In marriage, we are to grow to a place of being spiritually and emotionally naked and unashamed.
Let's talk about Proverbs 16:24 and what it means for our words to be sweet for another person to receive them.
Let's look at Proverbs 22:17-18 to understand how to listen to someone we want to blend with.
What's a man to do with a crying, wounded woman? (Yes, the idea for the title came from the movie, "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.")
His and her brains respond differently to anger. Let's talk about info on this topic we found in Dr. Carolyn Leaf's book, Who Switched Off My Brain?
How does processing internally or externally affect relationships? Let's talk about info from Dr. Carolyn Leaf's book, Who Switched Off My Brain?
Males & females interact with their emotions very differently. Let's talk about it. We're referencing Dr. Carolyn Leaf's book, Who Switched Off My Brain?
Male and female read and interpret non-verbal cues differently, but how does this affect relationship? Let's talk about some info from Dr. Carolyn Leaf's book, Who Switched Off My Brain?
What's different about his and her communication? Lots! Join us as we talk about those differences and their impact on relationships. Some of this info came from Dr. Carolyn Leaf's book, Who Switched Off My Brain?
Male and female are different in the way our brains are wired. Let's look at what's different in the way we perceive, with info discussed from Dr. Carolyn Leaf's book, Who Switched Off My Brain.
Merging families is a challenge, and there are many pieces to this picture. Here are some conversation starters to help.
Our day-to-day routines can include or exclude our spouse and family. Working as a team around routines contributes toward marriage & family closeness.
Because we are male and female, we process information differently, and this affects the marriage.
Let's talk about how male and female viewpoints are different and how we can complement each other with these differences.
Our brains are wired differently, and it affects the way we communicate. Let's look at how men and women are different and how knowing this can improve communication in marriage.
As a couple, we need to be on the same page about our budget, but it's helpful to position ourselves to even go there. Here are some ideas about getting ready to talk about the budget.
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As individuals, we place different meanings and values on things, like holidays, the way we believe about different things, and... everything! It's important for us to come up with "We" meanings.
Sharing and supporting dreams helps us thrive as individuals and as a couple.
How do we juggle all our relationships? Let's talk about budgeting our time.
Dr. John Gottman recommends strengthening a marriage by adding these 6 hours per week.
What happens when disagreements don't turn out well? Couples in healthy marriages analyze them. Let's look at how to do that.
Have you ever apologized, but it wasn't well-received? Here are some tips to help you say your apology well.
How do we make decisions together when we have such different perspectives? We're supposed to have different perspectives! Let's look at how to blend.
When our spouse shares a problem, we need to be willing to adjust. How might we do that well?
How do we pray in faith for our family, and how do we get started as a couple?
Maintaining connectivity while your spouse is sharing is doing your part as listener.
Keeping our cool while sharing a challenging thought can be difficult, but it's the only way to talk things through.
If we're not careful, we can get in our own way when it comes to catching our spouse's heart message.
Prevent your presentation from blocking your heart message by being aware of how you may be coming across.
Did you know the way you start communication can determine how it goes?
We both have something to say, but we can only work through one topic at a time and must wait until it's our turn to share.
Before we can address issues well, we should create an environment of unconditional love and acceptance of our spouse as-is without trying to change him/her.
Are you feeding a negative cycle in your marriage? You bring up a topic that automatically escalates, and you don't know what happened? Couples contribute to the negative spiral, and it can worsen over time. What sets it up?
How did we get here? Understanding the set up for negativity can help us understand how to reverse it.
As a couple, we've developed a history together. Now, our spouse expects conversation to go a certain way based on our responses. We need to create new expectations.
We expect so much in marriage! Regardless of what we think our spouse SHOULD do, we need to be Ok with what our spouse CHOOSES to do. (We're not talking about destructive choices here)
If you’re the listener, you’d want to be listening…. If you’re the speaker, you’d want to share your message in a way the listener can hear.
If you're struggling with getting your spouse to hear you when you present a problem to resolve, maybe you could improve your set up.
What can you do to improve the chance your spouse may really listen when you share?
How might you help your spouse become aware of your challenging preferences or triggers?
Repairing and soothing can help us stay calm during conflict and keep it healthy.
What should you beware of when you're escalating or closing toward your spouse? Avoiding these helps keep marriage healthy. _______ Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net _______ Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shawnrhondabardon/?ref=pages_you_manage Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blessed_marriage_/ #blessedmarriage #marriage #marriageadvice advice #marriagegoals #godlymarriage #biblestudy
How can conflict help you? When we understand we're closer on the other side - when we do it right! - we have something to work toward. _______ Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net _______ Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shawnrhondabardon/?ref=pages_you_manage Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blessed_marriage_/ #blessedmarriage #marriage #marriageadvice advice #marriagegoals #godlymarriage #biblestudy
We understand empathy is important, but what does that look like when we're clashing? Let's talk about what to look for. _______ Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net _______ Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shawnrhondabardon/?ref=pages_you_manage Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blessed_marriage_/ #blessedmarriage #marriage #marriageadvice advice #marriagegoals #godlymarriage #biblestudy
When we're empathetic with our spouse - connecting on a head-plus-heart level, we begin creating a safe environment - a place where our spouse feels heard where we've positioned ourselves as approachable.
When we're listening empathetically when our spouse is sharing, we can connect with not only the words, but also with the feelings behind the words to help our spouse feel heard and understood.
Let's talk about how to improve communication by watching our attitudes have a lot to do with how we share and how we hear.
What do you do when things have escalated in your marriage to the point your husband will hardly speak to you? Here are some ideas... _______ Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net _______ Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shawnrhondabardon/?ref=pages_you_manage Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blessed_marriage_/ #blessedmarriage #marriage #marriageadvice advice #marriagegoals #godlymarriage #biblestudy
Just like there are rules for games, there are rules for sharing hearts. When we play by the rules, we're more likely to get a "win" for both spouses.
Just because you feel upset doesn't mean you should speak disrespectfully to your spouse, and it isn't helpful - Speaking disrespectully typically results in defensiveness and decreased ability to hear the message in the spouse. Do the right thing by continuing to be polite and respectful, regardless of your spouses choices.
If it's important to you, it should be important to me. Validate what your spouse is seeing in the relationship - It takes two.
Empathy goes beyond catching the meaning of the words to include understanding the feeling behind them. To watch this video in it's entirety - https://youtu.be/FHRX_wv1sbg _______ Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net _______ Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shawnrhondabardon/?ref=pages_you_manage Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blessed_marriage_/ #blessedmarriage #marriage #marriageadvice advice #marriagegoals #godlymarriage #biblestudy
Before we'd address something we'd like to see changed in our spouse, we should first work on the things that need worked on about ourselves. When we're tak...
To find "we" in marriage, we need to be willing to adjust.To watch this entire video, go to Ready to Share at https://youtu.be/RdDLSLl3b14_______Check our ou...
When we see communication failed, we can evaluate where we could improve for next time, so we respond in a way to keep communication open instead of reacting...
You might be challenged with your spouse's responses to you because you aren't sharing enough information to really be known.To watch this entire video, go t...
Do you tend to hint at what you wish your spouse would know about you? Being indirect can block your spouse from getting the right message.To watch this ent...
Is it easy for you to become argumentative when trying to get your spouse to consider your perspective? This can actually block him/her from hearing you.To ...
Do you withdraw from addressing problems in your marriage? To watch this entire video, go to Vulnerabilities That Block Sharing at https://youtu.be/40Q2elvpy...
When communication doesn't go well, the first thing to do is check our own heart to be sure our motives and intentions are pure.To watch this entire video, g...
Are we passing judgment on our spouse, deciding what he/she intends without really hearing him/her?To watch this entire video, go to Ready to Share at https:...
Are you self-aware? Have you made your spouse aware of the things that derail communication for you? Does he/she really know how it impacts you?To watch th...
Are we coming across as aggressive or accusing without realizing it? This can shut down communication and result in our not being heard.To watch this entire...
Sometimes our own vulnerabilities hinder us from sharing with our spouse challenging insights about us._______Check our our website at https://blessedmarriag...
If it hasn't been working well the way you've been sharing your heart with your spouse, consider evaluating the way you've been doing to prepare to do it bet...
While research shows husbands in successful marriages receive influence from their wives, wives can make it a little easier.To watch this entire discussions:...
To be influenced by our spouse, we need to be able to hear what he/she contributes to decision making.To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/qqjb...
Research shows there's a positive impact on the longevity of the marriage when the husband accepts his wife's influence.To watch this entire discussions: htt...
Husbands and wives should be able to receive influence from each other to become one._______Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net_______Find u...
The little things can become the big things when they go unnoticed._______Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net_______Find us on Facebook:...
Do you tend to think your responses are the result of what your spouse did?To watch this entire discussion: https://youtu.be/_QuC12nw0Gc_______Check our our ...
When addressing marital problems, how are you interpreting your spouse?To watch this entire discussion: https://youtu.be/_QuC12nw0Gc_______Check our our webs...
Do you maximize your problems and minimize your spouse's?To watch this entire discussion: https://youtu.be/_QuC12nw0Gc_______Check our our website at https:/...
Do you have a tendency to blame your spouse for the problems in your marriage?To watch this entire discussion: https://youtu.be/_QuC12nw0Gc_______Check our o...
When your spouse share with you something important to him/her, how important do you make it to yourself?To watch this entire discussion: https://youtu.be/_Q...
Couples in healthy marriages accept each other as is and celebrate their differences. To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/3eGqwYnyf1Y_______C...
Couples in healthy marriages share by beginning with a gentle start up and receive by accepting influence.To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/...
Couples in healthy marriages honor each other's dreams and share the same purposes/goals.To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/3eGqwYnyf1Y______...
Couples in healthy marriages actively pay attention to each other.To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/3eGqwYnyf1Y_______Check our our website ...
Couples in healthy marriages believe their spouse has good intentions.To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/3eGqwYnyf1Y_______Check our our webs...
Couples in healthy marriages respond to each other with interest.To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/3eGqwYnyf1Y_______Check our our website a...
Couples in healthy marriages spontaneously express admiration and affection.To watch this entire discussions: https://youtu.be/3eGqwYnyf1Y_______Check our ou...
Let's do some self-evaluation to understand our behind-the-scenes thoughts that influence how we respond._______Check our our website at https://blessedmarr...
There are some important ways of looking at ourselves, our spouse, and our attitude to what each presents as we work toward "we" in marriage._______Check our...
Happily married couples have a lot in common._______Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net_______Find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook....
While it's important in marriage to be able to talk openly, we've got to remember the place for overlooking faults, too._______Check our our website at https...
How do you soften and open the heart of your spouse when so many misunderstandings have pushed him/her away?_______Check our our website at https://blessedma...
Our spouse has a different perspective, and it's supposed to be that way. How can we work with someone not like me?_______Check our our website at https://b...
How are you looking at and interpreting your spouse? Do I take whatever presents itself? Or am I intentional in how I view my spouse?_______Check our our we...
Sometimes we argue over unmet expectations. What do we expect?_______Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net_______Find us on Facebook: htt...
Until we can talk through our differences, we can choose to believe the best and that our spouse is well-intentioned._______Check our our website at https://...
Our spouse doesn't always choose to please us as we'd like. What do we do then? Our attitude can either support or damage the relationship._______Check our...
We can't force our spouse to please us, and respecting their right to choose is healthier for the relationship._______Check our our website at https://blesse...
After nearing the end of marital mentoring to repair your foundation, develop a maintenance plan to avoid "backsliding" into your old habits.
It's good to check up on your marriage periodically. Here are some ideas to get you started._______Check our our website at https://blessedmarriage.net_____...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
In the Listener Rules series, Shawn & Rhonda talk about what you can do to become a better listener when communicating and working through difficult issues i...
While many marital issues are resolvable, some aren't, and it's important to know the difference and how to navigate either way.
Jesus set an excellent example for us to follow when it comes to how we respond when we don't like the way we're being treated.
When you clash on a decision, do you go with the way you want to do it without really hearing out your spouse's idea? What if there's another option that cou...
The husband tends to set the tone of the marriage relationship to be either predominantly positive or predominantly negative.
Husbands and wives are supposed to be influenced by each other - and this tends to be present in healthy marriages and absent from failing marriages. Since ...
The way we begin sharing an issue can determine the way it'll end. Why not start off in a way that's less likely to slam the door to the discussion you want?
You get to choose your perspective, and we usually pick the one that makes sense to us - but what if there's a better way to look at it?
Do you hold off on addressing issues until you can't take it anymore? Did you know it's healthy for the relationship to go ahead and address them before the...
So how do couples get off the right track and end up at a place where they don't even know each other anymore?
To make friends we need to be friendly. (Proverbs 18:24). Are you friendly in your marriage? If you wouldn't speak to anybody else that way, why with your s...
When marriages struggle, both parties play a role to create a cycle. What's your part?
In marriage, the wife has a tendency to come across as verbally and emotionally aggressive as she tries to get her husband to work through issues. As a resp...
There are some mindsets spouses have when they don't work through issues. Here are a few. Do you lean toward one of these?
Do you or your spouse easily play the victim anytime you're asked to make a change? Let 's look at the victim mentality.
Do you immediately get on the warpath when your spouse presents and issue? What's going on, and how could you change that?
It's easy for a husband to get frustrated with his wife, but did you know God addressed this in His word? Let's look at Colossians 3:19 and talk about that.
Submission poses lots of problems because of misunderstandings about it. Let's talk about it....
How can we hear the heart message of our spouse if we're focused on explaining self or dismissive of thought, feelings, and ideas outside self? Let's talk a...
Do you have ears to hear beyond the presentation to really hear the meaning of your spouse's message?
Know your role. Are you the speaker or the listener? It isn't nice to push aside the speaker to switch roles.
To hear our spouse's heart, we mustn't be so self-focused we can only hear ourselves. Is your own perspective so loud in your mind you can't hear anything e...
Most people long to be known for who they are deep inside their hearts, but who will go that far to know us or care so much to tread delicately there? Hopef...
When we clash, we miss heart-messages. To really hear, set aside yourself and realize your spouse is revealing self - not you. When we only see ourselves a...
Have you ever attempted to share a heart message only to be pushed aside as the speaker while your spouse shares something "more important"? Have you done t...
Are you both pushing and pulling in opposite directions? Does it feel like a wild ride, and you don't know how you got here or how to get off? Let's look a...
Did you ever think conflict could create closeness? Well, it depends on what you do with it. The things we say are loaded with information, and many times,...
If we're really listening, our spouse has something important to say, and we could really benefit from it. Next time, instead of discounting it because it d...
Do God and your spouse get the best of your time, focus, attention, enthusiasm? Or do you give that to someone or something else - or use it on yourself? W...
Has your heart become hard toward your spouse? Or has your spouse's heart become hardened toward you? What will you do now?
In a marriage, God didn't mean for only one spouse to be expressed in the union. Instead, He means for two to become one. For this to happen, the contribut...
When there's a lot of conflict in the relationship, it can be overwhelming. This can happen to the spouse who is less verbal because the more verbal spouse ...
When couples are conflicted, everyone's talking, and nobody's listening. Let's look at what being quick to hear can do for communicating and resolving issues.
In James chapter 1, we read that we should be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. These are great concepts for marital communication! Let's lo...
How will you respond when in conflict with your spouse? God's Word addresses how we should live - and yes! how we should treat our spouse when working to re...
Have you ever been talking to your spouse when things started escalating? Then exploded? We all have emotional triggers that explode like emotional landmin...
Lies in the heart about ourselves and lies in the heart about our spouse hinder marital communication. When we interact with others, we develop beliefs abou...
It's good to have a check up for the marriage, and in this video, we cover some information to help with that.
If you've gotten to a stable place in your marriage, consider using this video to develop a plan to periodically evaluate your relationship to maintain growth.
Resolving marital issues gets blockades out of the pathway of yielding to unity in the marriage. If an issues is important to our spouse, it's important to ...
Sharing needs is so important in a marriage. While resolving issues removes hindrances, sharing needs pulls into the marital picture what's missing or insuf...
